{"product_id":"dead-tired-military-spouse-halloween-crewneck-sweatshirt","title":"Dead Tired Military Spouse Halloween Crewneck Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eServing the country? No. Serving exhaustion while married to someone who does? Absolutely.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the military spouse running on caffeine, changed plans, questionable sleep, and pure determination, meet the \u003cstrong\u003e“Dead Tired Military Spouse” Crewneck Sweatshirt\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSet against a classic black sweatshirt, the vintage-inspired design features a \u003cstrong\u003elaid-back skeleton surrounded by carved pumpkins\u003c\/strong\u003e beneath bold \u003cstrong\u003e“Dead Tired Military Spouse”\u003c\/strong\u003e lettering. It's edgy, slightly sarcastic, gender-neutral, and just Halloween enough to wear throughout spooky season without looking like a costume.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy You'll Love It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e💀 \u003cstrong\u003e“Dead Tired Military Spouse” Design\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because sometimes the most accurate military-spouse status is simply... tired.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎃 \u003cstrong\u003eVintage Halloween Artwork\u003c\/strong\u003e – A lounging skeleton and carved pumpkins give it an edgy, worn-in spooky-season aesthetic.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥾 \u003cstrong\u003eBranch-Neutral Military Humor\u003c\/strong\u003e – Designed for military spouses across Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Space Force, and Coast Guard families.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🖤 \u003cstrong\u003eGender-Neutral Style\u003c\/strong\u003e – No bows, glitter, or overly cutesy details—just vintage Halloween attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ \u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for the Chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e – PCS season, duty days, deployments, schedule changes, appointments... you get it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🍂 \u003cstrong\u003eMedium-Heavy Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e – The 8 oz\/yd² cotton-poly blend makes this a great sweatshirt for cooler fall weather.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧵 \u003cstrong\u003eBuilt for Repeat Wear\u003c\/strong\u003e – Ribbed construction and double-needle stitching help the sweatshirt maintain its shape.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e👕 \u003cstrong\u003eClassic Crewneck\u003c\/strong\u003e – Easy to throw on with jeans, leggings, joggers, or your favorite worn-in pair of sweats.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Military Spouses • 🎃 Halloween Season • 🥾 Base Life • ☕ Coffee Runs • 🍂 Pumpkin Patches • 🔥 Bonfires • 📦 PCS Chaos • 👻 Halloween Parties • 🛋️ Doing Absolutely Nothing When You Finally Get the Chance\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStyle:\u003c\/strong\u003e Gildan 18000 Adult Crewneck Sweatshirt\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Dead Tired Military Spouse”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTheme:\u003c\/strong\u003e Military Spouse \/ Skeleton \/ Vintage Halloween\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 50% Cotton \/ 50% Polyester\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium-Heavy — 8 oz\/yd²\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConstruction:\u003c\/strong\u003e Tubular Knit with No Side Seams\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCollar:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ribbed Knit\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStitching:\u003c\/strong\u003e Double-Needle Construction\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCotton:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ethically Sourced U.S. Cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eStyling Idea\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one was made for an \u003cstrong\u003eoversized, vintage-inspired look\u003c\/strong\u003e. Pair the black crewneck with distressed denim and sneakers, or go full off-duty with leggings, combat-style boots, and a baseball cap. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F). Tumble dry on low heat. Use non-chlorine bleach as needed. \u003cstrong\u003eDo not iron. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSizing Tip\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck the provided \u003cstrong\u003esize chart and measurements\u003c\/strong\u003e before ordering. If you're going for that oversized sweatshirt look, compare the measurements with an oversized crewneck you already love before choosing your size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDead tired. Still functioning. Technically.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003eThe unofficial military-spouse uniform for when “embracing the chaos” requires significantly more caffeine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.01\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; 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color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length (from center back), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e34.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e35.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; 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